How can death be the end and the beginning? How can death’s eternity become a lifetime? So many times I have wanted to die to myself so I could live, so I could be free, so I could go home….every day, every waking moment now, I feel the veil tearing. I am what I can become, and at the same time I cannot touch what I desire, what I need in order to survive. Distractions hold my attention, enough to sustain me, but in the moments of silence, I remain torn and confused, lost. I am praying everyday, even when I am not saying anything, unconsciously I am praying for deliverance from seeing what I see, from feeling what I feel, from knowing what I know. This soul doesn’t come with directions does it? I do not want to blindly step every single step of my life. Please let loose the light so that I can see the way to walk, to live, to be, to belong….